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God, sometimes you don't fucking come through To the Ever-Loving, Ever-Forgiving, Wonderful, Almighty God: Not to sound redundant here, but what is your god-damned problem? Don't you think you've brought enough down on people on this planet? How much testing do you have to do? Sure they say you would never give us more than we can handle but why do you have to push it to the breaking point? Comments like that make me wonder. How can you live with yourself? Pumping yourself up on your own ability to forget about things? Power never made for a kind-hearted person. We all know that. Why do so many people think it would be so different with God? So he sent his son down to perform a few miracles and save the souls of these people. Here I am getting on my "I really don't know what I'm talking about" kind of rants. Funny everyone disregards the old testament god, the wrathful and destructive god. People live by your rules in your sugar coated Nazi regime. Walking a blind path all for you. They put faith in you and spend their lives resisting any wanderlust that may grab them. Heaven forbid they stray from the path you've set so rigidly before them. Rather than be happy with their faith, you have to test, you have to push. Is there any satisfaction for a creature like yourself? Are you too lonely up there without someone to truly share your power you have to entertain yourself through our suffering? That's so sick yanno. And this free will stuff is a bunch of bull shit. You give us the ability to make our own decisions, probably believing you'd still manage to keep us all under the heel of your boot. Well that didn't work did it? So you punish us for that. It's like the mother who gives her child a choice of going out with friends or staying in for family night. Definately hell to pay if you go out with friends, but hey, she gave you the choice...even though in the back of her mind she had it set which was right and wrong. How'd you like it if I pinned this all on you? Actually that's a silly question because I'm about to. Perhaps it's your fault people go to Hell. First off, Hell is definitely an institution that completely belongs to you. It's your kind that run it. Fallen angels. You gave people the choice. You gave them the ability to choose Hell over Heaven. You gave them the freeness of mind to walk down other paths. So why are you so surprised when they turn away from you? What do you have to offer to them? Are you so unfamiliar with your own creation? At least science offers explanations for why we act certain ways. Science in it's many forms is always working against you and someday I hope it completely exposes you. You know what I'm getting at I'm sure. And what you've done is absolutely horrible. No, I don't expect you to fix it. Why would I expect you to do something good for once? Why do I know so many miserable people who put their faith in you? You must be so fucking full of yourself to be able to torment people the way you do and have them keep coming back for more. That just twists my stomach. What kind of "god" are you? And let me tell you, you're the worst damn shepard I've ever known. If we take that old worn out analogy does it even make sense? What kind of shepard lets his sheep wander aimlessly, wherever they want? What kind of shepard makes the sheep who do stay in the flock suffer? What kind of shepard would drive his sheep to run away or desire to end their lives? I know you're just brushing this off. Oh another angst ridden, cynical, lil bitch who blames me for her problems. Just pop some more prozac for the gods and relax. Forget the tormet you've laid on people, just forget it. I think that's what you've learned to do best. You want to see us happy but only within your own laws. We tell ourselves things like happiness is all that matters, live your life to the fullest, take the road less travelled, and don't live your life in fear. Unfortunately, I don't see how anyone could truly do that without crossing the lines of your borders. I think it just sickens you to think that for many we don't need you, we don't need your laws, and what you have to offer isn't what we want. We're better off without you. So why do you go fuck up a perfectly wonderful human being's life? I wish I knew. I wish I knew what sick enjoyment you get out of that. You just want to feel needed? Everyone loves that Footprints thing. Where you carried that poor man through his hardest times. But weren't those hard times that you set into motion? Are you sure you don't just do things to give yourself purpose in this sinister world we live in? God was there for me, he helped me through this. Yes, God did indeed. But I believe you also put the obstacle in their path. Yet another test for the faithful soul with many more to come. You're like an evil plotting man who breaks up a girl and boyfriend just so he can weasel his way in during the chaos and turmoil of the girl and take advantage of that. Be there for her and comfort her while she's suffering through a madness that you created yourself. You're one sick bastard. But what did he do to you? Why are you taking things out on him? I think it's very safe to say he's faithful toward you and your regime. But here he is in desperate times and you throw just one more wrench into the clockwork. And of all things, you took away what he was relying on to dig himself out of that neverending pit. You hit people with so many things at once, things you should know they can't handle. Then you won't let him into Heaven for committing suicide. You drove them to that. Sure it's their choice, but again, shouldn't you know us well enough to realize we aren't all that strong? Fragile minds and delicate hearts. We're all too easily broken though many will never show nor admit to it. We can't all be strong just for you. And if we can't be strong for you, how do you expect us to be strong for ourselves? Why do you do this? You act like we're just pawns on your chessboard. Maybe we are just playthings to you on this planet. I hope we've entertained you. He doesn't deserve this and you know it. You're ruining his life and pushing him too far and YOU KNOW IT! And if you don't, you sure as fucking HELL know it now because I just flat out told you! AND DON'T YOU IGNORE THIS! I could give a shit if you think he can handle more. You want someone to tormet, you always have me. But leave him the Hell alone. Have you no soul of your own? Is that why you treasure ours so much? Well you have his! His faith lies in your hands so what more could you possibly want? I think it's about time you could throw something good in his life besides the basics. He deserves it. He definately deserves a more loving god than you. Damnit. I just can't believe you. You created us in your own image? Where's your soul? Where's your heart? You're pathetic. Moreso now than I ever thought before. And as for Casey, I will never understand that. He'd do anything for you. He'd probably die for you while he still had his entire life ahead of him. He doesn't doubt you one single bit. He practically lives for you. And how do you repay a devoted and kind-hearted, wonderful person like him? With loneliness, confusion, and depression? Yes, that sounds right up my alley. Sign me up for Christianity ASAP, don't want to miss out on a deal like that. So send me to Hell. I really don't care. I'm sure I'm already on that list. But I'd like you to know exactly what's in my head. You drove me to be who I am today. I wouldn't be what I am, wouldn't write things like this, if it wasn't for you. Thank you for my life and my destination. It's been a pleasure working with you. All my love, PS: And my deal still stands you sorry sack of shit. |