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An old friend I saw an "old friend" today. Didn't see me. I didn't say anything. Some things are better left untouched. But how do I know that this one doesn't just need a simple "Hey what's up?" to get things going? Then sometimes I wonder how a person like me ends up with people out there who hate me. Something I deserve? Probably. But in this case, I'm inclined to say, no, I don't deserve this. Where do things go wrong? What kind of friends make you choose between them? How much can one person take? I say I don't care but I know I do. Everytime I see this person I can feel it in my stomach. Everything floods back to me. I can remember how things used to be, all the fun we used to have. Constant emails, talking on the phone. We were like family. Several times I was able to speak my mind on things and know that no one was going to be offended. It was an excellent friendship. I never thought it would come to this. And after all I've been through with this "old friend" it sickens me to think that if there was a sudden change of heart, we'd be friends again. Definately to the utter and total disappointment of other friends that I still know. And that's what makes this so ridiculous. Why would I want someone who could treat me and my friends like shit back in my life? I just think it's horrible to think that two people who were so close have to throw all that away over one's inability to grow some damn maturity. I'm not perfect and immature in several ways. In fact another person out there who doesn't think too highly of me strongly believes I am completely lacking in any sense of maturity. But in this situation, I think it's safe to say it's not me. What I need to do is be able to grow a real backbone for once. I just can't take things sometimes! |